THE MIRACULOUS GIFT OF GROUCHINESS

THE MIRACULOUS GIFT OF GROUCHINESS

I used to be addicted to the opinions of others. I took my cue on how to feel about myself or what to think about my day, based on the reactions I got from everybody around me. If someone smiled at me first, I smiled back. (Nice person, upbeat day.) If they frowned I took it personally, because I was sure it meant that either they were an asshole, or I was—depending on the situation. (Maybe you know what I’m talking…

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NOTE TO SELF

NOTE TO SELF

Note to self: There isn’t a single thing I would change about you Even if I could. Everybody talks about unconditional love. And it sounds awesome. It also sounds like nothing we actually know how to do. How to give love unconditionally to others? This is how. When you can sit in the presence of your own darkest shadow And see all the stuff about yourself that you hate, Or fear, All those things you find ugly, Everything you’re secretly…

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ALL ROADS LEAD TO HOME

ALL ROADS LEAD TO HOME

A couple of years ago while strolling through the walled city of Old Jerusalem, I had a sudden realization: “I” didn’t exist. I was not the busy person immersed in highly important doings, who I had always assumed myself to be. Surrounded by this noisy tourist throng, I suddenly experienced myself as a vast empty hole, an impartial and impersonal gap through which oceans of stunningly trivial stuff—past lives, present lives—poured forth. It made me cry. I’d been a seeker…

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HOLY WATER

HOLY WATER

A rather big shift of awareness happened the other day: I finally invited divine love, with all its unruly magnitude, to come crashing in. Not only did it arrive on cue—it stayed, taking up residence within me. As me—kind of. But not yet 100%. Nowhere near. So now it seems, in effect, that I’m living with a very large celestial roommate. For lack of a more accurate description. This was no sudden incident out of the blue. It was precipitated…

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YOUR BODY IS PERFECT

YOUR BODY IS PERFECT

This morning, as is often my habit, in between the tooth brushing and the hot shower, I had a shit. It was an unremarkable shit, really. Hardly worth blogging about. I only bring it up because Steve opened the door unannounced and wandered into the bathroom mere moments after the flush. And as I stood in the shower, I noticed my own reaction. I felt slightly…responsible. Like I’d encroached a little bit on his right to a stink-free existence. For…

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THE TERRORIST IS WITHIN

THE TERRORIST IS WITHIN

These days I can’t help but notice the vast number of unconscious agreements we all make with each other throughout our lives. We make them between individuals, between families, between nations. Not all of these agreements are bad things, of course; some of them are meant to keep the world running smoothly. It’s just that these agreements we make are…well…unconscious. Nobody is reading the fine print before signing these contracts. And because we unknowingly sign up for these agreements, we’re…

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Futurepast Lightblossom

Futurepast Lightblossom

As any quantum physicist—or Dr. Who fan—can tell you, linear space-time is a very malleable thing. An inconsistent illusion at best. To a degree, that’s something we all experience: A watched pot takes forever to boil, yet two hours zip by when you’re having fun. Ask anybody. Time is always funny that way. But I’m talking about something else: The firsthand recognition that everything is happening (or, more accurately, has already happened) all at the same time. It only appears…

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A Tree Grows in Dorset

A Tree Grows in Dorset

Actually, lots of trees grow in Dorset—England is a very green and beautiful place. But this particular tree sprouted only a few nights ago, and it may well be the first of its kind. This is a tree of freedom. A tree of safety for all. •• Here’s one way of describing the human condition: Each of us lives in our own little fairytale cottage, and all of these cottages are set in a beautiful forest. We all deeply love…

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A Year without Fear: (IM)PRISONER

A Year without Fear: (IM)PRISONER

I thought I was done with the war between the sexes. For me, that battle was so, like, 1975. I am woman, hear me roar, and all that. I’m not making light of the very serious and ongoing worldwide challenges women face at the hands of men, mind you. I’m just saying that, by and large, it hasn’t been my fight. Over the decades of spiritual practice, my early gender rage and frustration have slowly given way to genuine empathy…

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A Year without Fear: GOING STEADY WITH GOD

A Year without Fear: GOING STEADY WITH GOD

There’s a scene in Private Benjamin where Goldie Hawn enters an army recruitment office and is shown a beautiful, slick brochure on the benefits of modern military life. She’s so impressed, she enlists right on the spot. But when she arrives at bootcamp in Mississippi, she’s confused: Quonset huts. Latrines. What the hell? This is definitely not what she signed up for. “I think there’s been a mistake,” she tells the drill sergeant. “I joined the other army. You know,…

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