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Tag: Forgiveness

THE MIRACULOUS GIFT OF GROUCHINESS

THE MIRACULOUS GIFT OF GROUCHINESS

I used to be addicted to the opinions of others. I took my cue on how to feel about myself or what to think about my day, based on the reactions I got from everybody around me. If someone smiled at me first, I smiled back. (Nice person, upbeat day.) If they frowned I took it personally, because I was sure it meant that either they were an asshole, or I was—depending on the situation. (Maybe you know what I’m talking…

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YOUR BODY IS PERFECT

YOUR BODY IS PERFECT

This morning, as is often my habit, in between the tooth brushing and the hot shower, I had a shit. It was an unremarkable shit, really. Hardly worth blogging about. I only bring it up because Steve opened the door unannounced and wandered into the bathroom mere moments after the flush. And as I stood in the shower, I noticed my own reaction. I felt slightly…responsible. Like I’d encroached a little bit on his right to a stink-free existence. For…

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Futurepast Lightblossom

Futurepast Lightblossom

As any quantum physicist—or Dr. Who fan—can tell you, linear space-time is a very malleable thing. An inconsistent illusion at best. To a degree, that’s something we all experience: A watched pot takes forever to boil, yet two hours zip by when you’re having fun. Ask anybody. Time is always funny that way. But I’m talking about something else: The firsthand recognition that everything is happening (or, more accurately, has already happened) all at the same time. It only appears…

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A Tree Grows in Dorset

A Tree Grows in Dorset

Actually, lots of trees grow in Dorset—England is a very green and beautiful place. But this particular tree sprouted only a few nights ago, and it may well be the first of its kind. This is a tree of freedom. A tree of safety for all. •• Here’s one way of describing the human condition: Each of us lives in our own little fairytale cottage, and all of these cottages are set in a beautiful forest. We all deeply love…

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A Year without Fear: (IM)PRISONER

A Year without Fear: (IM)PRISONER

I thought I was done with the war between the sexes. For me, that battle was so, like, 1975. I am woman, hear me roar, and all that. I’m not making light of the very serious and ongoing worldwide challenges women face at the hands of men, mind you. I’m just saying that, by and large, it hasn’t been my fight. Over the decades of spiritual practice, my early gender rage and frustration have slowly given way to genuine empathy…

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A Year without Fear: GOING STEADY WITH GOD

A Year without Fear: GOING STEADY WITH GOD

There’s a scene in Private Benjamin where Goldie Hawn enters an army recruitment office and is shown a beautiful, slick brochure on the benefits of modern military life. She’s so impressed, she enlists right on the spot. But when she arrives at bootcamp in Mississippi, she’s confused: Quonset huts. Latrines. What the hell? This is definitely not what she signed up for. “I think there’s been a mistake,” she tells the drill sergeant. “I joined the other army. You know,…

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A Year Without Fear: ME AND MY SHADOW

A Year Without Fear: ME AND MY SHADOW

Confession: Ever since the shadow-man’s nocturnal visit a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been afraid of the dark. Just like old times. It’s a colossal flashback to a pattern I thought I cleared ages ago, and I’m a little bummed out to find myself seemingly back at this same scaredy-cat spot once more. In the last post, I discovered it was necessary to embrace and accept the unseen supernatural world, because it’s an aspect of the self. Because I created…

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A Year Without Fear: I AM $600,000. (AND SO ARE YOU.)

A Year Without Fear: I AM $600,000. (AND SO ARE YOU.)

At the end of my previous post, The $600,000 Gatekeeper, I reported that the internal arbiter standing between me and limitless creative expression seemed to have permanently abandoned its mission. Afterward, a friend asked, “So if the gatekeeper is gone, are you now able to feel you deserve $600,000?” I didn’t know. I said I’d get back to him. When I first met the gatekeeper, it showed itself to me as a frightened figure trying singlehandedly to hold back all…

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WAKING UP. SMELLING THE COFFEE.

WAKING UP. SMELLING THE COFFEE.

There’s been a lot of talk among God’s students lately about food’s perfect innocence. How it’s neither good nor bad for you, how it doesn’t make you thin or fat, sick or healthy. How (like every other aspect of this 3-D illusion), food is entirely neutral. That I’m the one who gives it all the meaning it has for me. If I say it’s fattening, in other words, then it is. If I say it’ll make me sick—or well—then it…

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WHEN IS A BACKLASH NOT A BACKLASH?

WHEN IS A BACKLASH NOT A BACKLASH?

Back in the day – say, 5 or 6 years ago – it seemed that every time I got on a spiritual roll, every time I felt big breakthroughs in wisdom, trust, love or peace, I knew this wonderful sense of expansion would come only as the first half of a 2-part cycle: I could expect an inevitable ego crash shortly afterward. You could set your clocks by it; a dreadfully fuzzed-out period of lethargic contraction that would arrive right…

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